How to loose your bags and be delayed - the full whinge version

I have been sitting here staring at this computer screen for the last 1/2 hour, and I still can't think of a way to begin this blog entry.
(Well there I go being all melodramatic again - actually I'm watching re-runs of old
American sitcoms and occasionally trying to write - but the truth is so terribly boring)

Cam went to London this morning for a bunch of interviews with every finance
recruitment agency in the UK, meanwhile I decided to stay here since it's a $40Aud
train fare and I still don't have a way of making money appear in my bank account.

On the upside, we now have our luggage back (no - not my stolen bag) but everything
else that I was carrying with me, that Air Iberia managed to loose for 3 days somewhere between Athens, Barcelona and either Gatwick, London or Heathrow London.

And whats more - Cameron even scored a free sleeping bag that some other poor
backpacker lost to the black hole that is the Barcelona airport lost luggage storage area - it somehow ended up tied (with 8 knots) to his backpack.

So as you can tell, we have been having fun! Our month in the mediteranean nearly
almost went off without another hitch - untill of course we had to fly via Spain on our way home. (We really should have listened to our travel agent when she tried to discourage us from stopping in Spain).

You see, the fantastic Spanish airline Air Iberia couldn't work out how to make our
Athens to Barcelona flight run on time - and didn't explain why we were departing an
hour late untill we were already in the air. Then the 3 indifferent air stewards that I asked to help us be first off the plane in order that we might run for our connecting flight all gave me their own version of "not my problem - work it out yourself"

Long story short we touched down in Barcelona at the exact minute that our connecting
flight was meant to depart - hoping that we may still make it we ran from one end of the airport to the other (which was no easy task after we'd spent the last 7 days on a cruise eating 3 course meals 3 times a day) - and arrived at the gate just as the plane was climbing into the air. Awesome.

"No worries" I thought - I've seen how they do this in the movies - you go to the transfer desk - the friendly airline person finds you another flight and/or puts you up in a hotel for the night with all the trimmings.
Problem #1. We walk around for 15 minutes following badly designed airport signage
only to finally arrive at "transfers" to find - there is No-one at Air Iberia transfer desk
Fine - so we walk through immigration - customs - past baggage claim and back out to
check-in.
Then a super-helpful arrogant airport employee refuses to tell me where I can find an Air Iberia desk and points me towards information.
So - over to information - where we recieve directions to the Air Iberia ticket booth.
By this point we've been running and walking circles through the airport for almost 40 minutes and we're not in the best of moods - so when the Air Iberia ticket clerk asks for our original tickets - which I explain through gritted teeth that we don'thave because some gypo from her country stole my bag - and then asks me why we missed our connecting flight - because her useless airline can't work out how to make a flight run on time - I was just about ready to kill the next person I saw wearing an Air Iberia jacket.
She explained she could either put us on a flight to Gatwick (when we were supposed to fly to Heathrow some 2 hours earlier - or we had to see the PR department)
Perfect - direct me to the PR department - at least they should know the definition of customer service. Apparently not.
We arrived to yet another office - to find two very helpful looking Air Iberia dudes cough cough
I had barely even said the words
"Hi, can you help us we've missed our connecting flight to Heathrow"
When the guy sitting down said - (without even looking up)
"No more flights to Heathrow tonight"
ok... at which point one would assume his job would involve providing us with possible alternatives. But apparently this guy had a different understanding of the term "customer service".
Being tired and naive I stood waiting for about 10 seconds - expecting him to say
something nice like "but we can put you on a flight to another airport in London - or on a flight to Heathrow tommorow"... clock ticks by and ... nothing
At which point I tottally lost it
"Excuse me - but how are we supposed to get to London?"
still typing away and /or answering the phone "You can go to Gatwick"
"That puts us in the complete wrong part of London to get home - an inconvenience we
don't deserve since this isn't our fault - is Air Iberia willing to pay for a taxi from gatwick airport since we have now missed all trains to Southend?"
"We don't do taxis"
...
"What do you do then?"
"You can wait untill we can get you on another flight to Heathrow - you will have to stay in Barcelona for two nights before we have seats available"
"So you can pay for two nights of hotel accomodation but not a taxi?"
"yes. If you don't like it - here is the contact details for the complaints department" - and with that line he finally looked at me - which made me all the more mad
And then I completely lost it
I slammed my hand down on the desk - leaned towards him and said through my teeth
"NO. I am not staying in this city another 2 nights - I had my bag stolen here and I hate it - we are going to London tonight"
At that moment he looked just a little scared - who was this manic girl screaming in his face on a Satrday night?- and then he was saved by the phone - answered of course without saying "excuse me I need to take this"
Cam and I sat down on their little couch - this could take a while - when suddenly Mr
helpful hangs up the phone looks at me and says "so what do you want to do?"
which was a funny thing to ask because it implied that he had given us a choice - when really he hadn't ... I just looked at him - fuming when Cam stood up - obviously he'd had enough too.
"Fine we'll go to Gatwick - I do not want to stay here."
So 25 minutes later, after running through the airport yet again we found ourselves
sitting in the business class section of a plane flying back to London.
But apparently they didn't treat our luggage like it belonged in business class because when we arrived at Midnight, tired and dirty, and watched the luggage carousel do a full circut 200 times we discovered that our bags were missing. Awesome. Just perfect.
Reporting the missing luggage was however one of the most positive experiences of the
whole day - the British Airways dude was so friendly, helpful and compassionate - I
almost couldn't believe it.
Once that was done we suddenly realised the horrible reality of our situation, we were in Gatwick - a good 3 hour trip on Public transport from Southend - the trains wouldn't be running again untill 5am, and a taxi would cost a small fortune. Awesome, what a fantastic day.
"Thats ok" we thought "We're backpackers we can handle anything - let's sleep here in
the airport untill the trains start"
But there were no dark quiet corners to be found. Eventually we curled up in a cold
draughty brightly lit seating area where the PA announced "do not leave your baggage
unattended" in 5 languages every 10 minutes. I lasted 15 minutes.

I'm sorry but I just wasn't cut out for things like this. I'm too much of a princess. So I woke up Cam, who had already fallen asleep thanks to his eye mask, ear plugs and day pack full of handy things such as travel pillows.
We walked to the airport hotel and paid whatever ridiculous amount of money it was and crashed in the most comfortable beds in the history of sleep.

Next morning we awake - put the same clothes as yesterday on, and spend 3.5 hours
getting the tube, overland rail and then a replacement bus service for half the trip since that day - of all days they decided to do rail work on our line!
Awesome - thankyou Air Iberia.

better late than never...

Just befeore we left the UK a month ago I wrote a blog entry, and put it on my CF card to upload when I got a chance on the road... of course - as with everything it was in my day pack that was stolen - so anyways I thought I'd post it now... enjoy!

As our time here in Southend draws to a close, I’m taking a bit of time to think about all of the things that I have learned while I’ve been here. Some have certainly been more useful than others (for example learning how to scrub a toilet ranks high on my list of things I’d always wanted to do).

And some, are just stupid.
Example b: I am now able to do an accurate impression of a “Saaaarfender” ordering a subway meal (or generally just saying anything as once you learn the rules – such as don’t sat “th” – say “f”or “v” – as in “free o vem koookeees” rather than “three of those cookies” – well you can apply the rules to almost anything)

And so, to celebrate my forthcoming retirement from Subway, which will occur this Friday, I would like to list some of my favorite Saaaarfender uses of the English language:

scews mee?
(not always used – but a nice touch)

I’ll ave a:

a. suite unyun chikin terri-yakki

b. chikin n bayken raanch

c. chewna wiv suite corne

d. veggeee patteee

e. meatball mureena
(this one is my absolute favorites – at first I thought maybe there was a typo on our menu boards, because no one ever pronounces the “r” in marinara but now I’ve just decided it’s another of the less endearing Sarfender qualities I’ve come to love)

At which point I interject and ask whether they want a six inch or a footlong – and then ask again, and sometimes again as my out-of-town accent tends to confuse them somewhat.

And then we have to decide which bread we want – decisions decisions – and invariably they choose the “Italyun herbs wiv cheeese”

Next important question:
“Any salads?”
“Yeah go on”
“Which ones?”

Which often results in my favourite answer “all of them”
So of course they wait until you’ve put the olives or the sweet corn on and then say

“oh wayte not vem black fings”
or
“I don’t want suite corne”
Or they stand there and carefully choose each one:
I’ll ave mine wiv:

Lettiss
unyun
turmata
kewcumba
grean peppa (read capsicum for the Australians – first time I served someone and said that they looked at me like I was speaking Zulu)
jalla-peenos (ah pronouncing the silent j – we are in a classy part of town)
sarwfwest chip-ottle sawce (more silent letters! Yay!)


dyhave saled kreeem?

Oh only may-o?

free of them koookees

an a bo-ule a cherri tang-o

And my absolute favourite Sarfender experience so far has been watching two guys try to work out where my “weird accent” is from:
“r yew frum noo zeeeee-lund?”
they asked

I had to bite my tongue because I almost said “Are you from Ireland?” but instead I gave them a mysterious smile and left them wondering.

Now the other fabulous thing about working at subway is that I’ve not only learned an alternative means of using the English language – but I’ve also learned oodles about the 4 most common religions AND languages used in India (oh and had a marriage proposal – but more about that later).

As a result of working with 7 Indian immigrants (who prefer to speak their native tongue rather than English) I have now learned to say things like “yam” instead of ham – because one of the boys refuses to even speak of pigs, (let alone eat their filthy flesh) and to call the beloved meatball mureena – “football” – which another of the boys reassures me is tamil or hindi or something for “meatball”

I’ve learned so many things about all of the different religions, and generally spent most of my time singing the praises of Australia – ah with it’s soft water, decent rates of pay and low cost of living.

This boastfulness of mine roused many stories from the boys about their attempts to get Australian work visas before admitting defeat and heading for the UK. This may or may not have had something to do with our manager Thomas asking me to marry him (and yes before you ask – he was serious.)

And while I’ve spent my days serving the stomachs of Sarfend Camo has been busy as a house-boyfriend doing the washing, and googling things such as “I hate Southend” (which by the way resulted in an amazing number of hits - who knew so many others have suffered just like us)

Moving right along...

Well, one week on since the bag theft and after a whistle-stop tour of Valencia, Madrid and Zaragosa Cam and I find ourselves back in Barcelona.

It´s gradually getting easier to think about what has happened and to list all of the things I am never going to see again. But I am making my best effort to move on and start the process of convincing my insuance company of what I owned in order to have it all replaced.

The last seven days have been full of ups and downs. In amongst everything Cam and I managed to score a fantastic cold from which we are still recovering.

We also met a pair of New Zealanders in our hostel room just before the bus station episode and then ran into them again waiting for the 2nd bus to Valencia - (and as life typically has a funny way of always working out - it all turned out just peachy)

We caught the bus with them to Valencia and then ended up spending a week travelling through the rest of Spain on an awesome spontaneious itinerary.



La Tomatina was one of the highlights of the whole trip so far, after almost being killed by the first truck full of tomatos (as it drove by us just centimetres away from our toes) Nicola and I decided to move away from the massive central swell of people to a side street. There was however little escape - as our white shirts soon discovered.

It was a struggle just to hold onto our havianas, our toes clenched tightly around them - most gave up and let the sea of squelchy red goo devour theirs but being the seasoned homebaker that I am I knew all the tricks of the trade and managed to return to Valencia with my entire outfit intact.

I must say the stench of 40 000 people crammed together, mixed with searing heat and 100 tonnes of squashed tomatos far surpassed the aromas of a homebake mosh pit in the Sydney summer, but I have survived to tell the tale, and that is all that matters!

Since then we have done various touristy Spain related things like eat Tapas, drink Sangria and watch a bull fight (read: bull slaughter), and various stolen bag related things such as sit in an Air Iberia office for half a day and stay up till all hours so that we can call Australia during business hours.

All things aside I´m still having an awesome time and looking forward to getting on the plane to Greece tommorow. I´ve been doing a great deal of thinking about life and why it all happens and I´m sure one day some reason for all this will become clear.

Dave, Cameron and I spent hours last night hypothesising, philosophising, and generally chewing the fat, and we have reached the conclusion that no matter what we do it will all work itself out - one way or another.

Groundbreaking I know.

Maybe from here on in I´ll be truly dedicated to my photographs and my journal (If my insurance company ever comes up with the goods!)

Anyways I´m sure for now that is enough, this is Lauren, signing off in Spain

Audious Amigoes!
xoxo

owner to a stolen daypack

so much to tell
so little time

big news first

had my bag stolen from (in between my legs) at a bus station in barcelona on monday

all i have left are my passport and my clothes

am mostly angry about my journal and my photos from the last few months that were on my ipod
and once again not backed up

(and my irreplaceable dental retainer)

everything else is replaceable through insurance but we are having mucho hassle here in spain with the half assed attempt they make at everything.

hopefully we can get our plane tickets and travel vouchers reissued pronto so we can continue on anyways.

we decided to still do tomatina (yesterday) which was awesome

and did i throw those tomatos hard! (good way to release the agression)

we also had another classic bimbo cam moment when after we´d spent the whole day working out cancelling credit cards and calling insurance companies we sat down on the bus to valencia (5 hours late and with new tickets as they were also in the bag)

cam looks at his daypack and says

"hey lau - where are you gonna put your daypack"

genius

anyways must run much to do

love to you all
and hope to hear from everyone

if anyone has given me an email address or phone number since i´ve been away please email it to me and spread the word as i lost heaps of stuff in my phone and notebook

xoxoo